The Italian Dish Of Crisped Flatbread?

I’m just going to go ahead and say it: we’re having pizza at our wedding.

This is a homemade sourdough pizza I made one time with an egg on it. We will not be serving this at our wedding so don't even ask.

“Surely you jest,” you say with a doff of your hand and a knowing grin.

“Surely I just what?” I reply.

“No, I’m mean…” you say, flustered at my poor vocabulary skills. “I mean, surely you jest, j-e-s-t, like surely you’re joking.”

“Ah,” I say, “yes. But no. I’m not jesting. We’re serving pizza. At our wedding.”

“You’re pulling my leg,” you say, incredulous. “Pizza? The Italian dish of crisped flatbread topped with tomato juice and curdled milk?”

“That’s right,” I say, nodding, “that’s 100% right. Well, it’s tomato sauce, not juice, and cheese isn’t exactly curdled milk, so maybe it’s more like 50% right.”

A faint smile of understanding teases your lips. “I get it,” you say, index finger aloft in a gesture of Aha-ery, “I get it now, you magnificent bastard. You’re serving artisanal pizzetas! Broasted Swiss chard and nettle pizzeta with julienned yogurt and Bald Eagle cheese, and caramelized pancetta and biscotti pizzeta with a wine-glazed radicchio reduction, that kind of thing!”

I sigh, grab you by the lapels, hoist you off the ground and stare deep into your scarlet orbs.

“No,” I say very calmly, “not pizzeta. PIZZA. Bread and cheese and tomato sauce slash pesto, with toppings like sausage and mushrooms and pineapple and extra cheese.”

It finally dawns on you. Pizza.

Not pulled pork sandwiches, not barbecue.


The story of how we arrived at that decision will be for another post, but the general gist of the decision had to do with (1) budget and (2) logistics. First it was “can we really serve pizza at our wedding?”, then we moved on to “well, everyone likes pizza, right?” and then finally we graduated to “Hey everyone! We’re serving pizza at our wedding!”

We’re pretty stoked about it. Pizza’s not the only thing we’ll be serving, but it’s the main dish – for now I’ll keep the other stuff a secret for our guests. You know, to keep ’em honest. If I tell you everything now, someone’ll show up at the wedding, elbow everyone out of the way, and demand to know where we’re hiding the churros.

Note: to my knowledge, we will not be serving churros. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.

So, yeah. Pizza. We love pizza. One time I ate so much pizza in college with Andy that I broke my stomach and couldn’t eat for a week. One time I made 24 pizzas all by myself for a fundraiser, which actually wasn’t very much fun at all, but the point remains: pizza.

So if you’re coming to my wedding, be sure to wear your pizza shoes.




19 responses to “The Italian Dish Of Crisped Flatbread?

  1. dashielledavenportvawter

    I feel like there is some kind of perfect coming of full circle with pizza at the wedding Bret. I associate you so much with pizza. I have made a lot of pizza with you. And I loved it all. Missing you guys and hope I’ll get to see you soon for an evening meal outside with lights and beer and pizza 🙂

    • Man, we sure made a lot of pizzas together. I’ll have to serve you my new and improved sourdough pizza – tastes much less fundraiser-y!

  2. I am known worldwide for my Aha-ery.

    “Deep dish?” She asks, with dubious hope….

    • Sigh… probably not. We do have a deep dish option, but logistically it may be too hard. Luckily the place we’re getting it from also makes killer thin crust.

  3. Pizza is my favorite food. I definitely fantasized about serviving brick-oven gourmet pizzas at our wedding before I failed to find venues in our town with brick ovens.

    Also, my sister-in-law had pizzas delivered to her wedding for the “midnight snack” and it went over very well.

  4. Don’t ask why, but I was inspired to google “Pizza Shoes” from the last sentence of your post and this is what came up. I hope you love this:

    • You know what, if I had read this post rather than written it, I also would have googled Pizza Shoes.

      And I love those shoes.

    • OMG. I want pizza shoes! Seriously. I think you guys need to wear them during your vows. And Seriously. I would happily purchase and send them to you. So long as you take one of these guys:

      And send it to me.

  5. Yes! Pizza! Yummy!

  6. And. Pizza sounds awesome. Who doesn’t love it? And also. This should be your pizza serving song:

    I’m kidding. But I do love this song.

  7. As I said over my way yesterday, a) pizza was my backup plan and b) who doesn’t like pizza? No one. Seriously, after your comment yesterday, I went home dreaming of pizza. Pizza pizza pizza. I think I’ll arrange for a pizza + movie night this weekend, just to quell the urge.

    This is all sorts of awesome. Even without the pizza shoes (though those are awesome too.)

    • It’s true that no one doesn’t like pizza, and especially now since you can get gluten and/or dairy-free pizzas, there’s just no excuse to not like pizza.

      That’s three pizzas in one sentence.


      • How do you get dairy free pizza? I this just a Bretism or reality? I’d love the former (my tummy would, that is).

  8. Oh man. I just found a GREAT new place by my new cottage. Its called Rotten City Pizza and you should totally check it out 🙂 They would probably deliver to you guys

  9. SO SO AWESOME! as far as I’m concerned, pizza weddings are the best weddings. Also, how was the pizza with the egg on top? I’ve been meaning to make/eat one of those!

  10. Mmmmmmmmm…pizza!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s