This morning I woke up, as I have a habit of doing each and every morning, and after situating myself and remembering who and where I was, yawning and stretching and all that, I was struck by the following thought: “Oh yeah – I have a blog!”
It didn’t used to be this way. I used to awake brimming with ideas, jokes, and material for posts. I used to have class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. Um, I mean: daily bloggery used to come pretty naturally. I’d occasionally go a weekday without posting, and I’d feel kind of dirty – like I was letting people down. Letting myself down. Plus I kept hearing that new blogs really need constant, near-daily content, in order to get established and draw in a readership and all that. Which I’m sure is true.
But slowly, I stopped having that daily urge, for whatever reason. Part of it, of course, is that we haven’t been planning our wedding as fervently as we were in the beginning, when it was all wedding all the time. I’ve gotten busier. There are baseball games on TV these days that require my undivided attention. I’m reading more, and thus spending less time in front of the computer, which is a good thing. I’ve become mildly obsessed with Michael Connelly books, finally joining the ranks of mystery novel aficionado – I’d been the last holdout in a family that’s been reading Sue Grafton, Peter Lovesey, Dick Francis, Tony Hillerman, Sarah Paretsky, and many many others for years and years. So yeah, Michael Connelly – I’m partillay blaming you for the slow demise of my daily blogging habit. Stop writing page-turners* and then I’ll forgive you.
[*In college, I once sat down for a meal at the dining hall next to a girl I knew – but I knew no one else at the table. She introduced me to everyone, and when we came upon a girl named Paige, I immediately said, “Hey, you know, if we got married, your name would be Paige Turner!” There followed a terrible silence. She was not amused, sadly. I ate my meal in silence and left.]
But I really do want to press on.* As other wedding bloggers can likely attest, there’s an ulterior, backup motive at work here – this blog will be a fun record of not only our wedding planning, but our lives together as young folks. Even if my readership dips all the way down to, say, 5 a day – or into the negative numbers, which I believe happens when you start paying people to read your blog – I still have good motivation to keep going. I imagine myself holding a nice, leatherbound (or depending on our future finances, plastic-bound) edition of “The All Things ‘Zilla Compendium” one day, remembering when I actually thought I could make pulled pork for 150 people. Ha! I was so young, so foolish. I thought the whole world was mine.
*[I almost wrote “But much like Lee’s nails, I want to press on.” But I thought better of it. But now I’ve typed it in an asterisk anyway.]
I have a whole post in the works wherein I speculate about how my kids, and my friends’ kids, will be able to see so much more of me and Jessica as young people – so I won’t really get into that now. But thinking about having this blog printed out as a book one day, and maybe when my future kids begin to develop an interest in what Jessica and I were once like, well – they’ll be able to read it. And not only that, but they’ll be able to see videos of us, too, and countless photos. They’ll be able to listen to the songs I’ve recorded. With my parents, I really have precious little idea what they were like as kids, as teenagers, as college students – I hear stories and I’ve seen photos, but it’s not the same. The technology wasn’t there to record their youth as it is now. Who knows – maybe that distance, between parents and their children, is a good thing in some ways. But I imagine that these parent-kid relationships will dramatically change along with technology.
You readers, you loyal, beautiful readers, you all make it worthwhile too. I am tickled that anyone, whether it be my mom or friend or someone I never met who blogs several thousand miles away, would want to read the words I spew forth into the ether, the disparate thoughts I have on weddings and life and love and baseball. That’s pretty damn cool.
And there’s a lot left of the wedding to plan – most of it, really. We have stuff in the works, and I have posts in the works.
Thanks for sticking with me. You guys are the best.