Groomzilla Watch 7/7/10

The amount of Groomzilla Watch! posts I’ve featured on this blog in no way captures the amount of Groomzilla moments I have in real life, both genuine and otherwise. I am a wedding blogger, after all, somewhat of a rarity amongst the groomal set, which lends me to a certain amount if over-obsession with small wedding details, even as we’re over a year away from The Big Day. I cannot help but wonder how I will be, in real life and on the blog, when the date is fast approaching. I’m guessing: calm, but jittery, with a propensity for jokes and terrible puns. I mean, more of a propensity than usual.

Awhile ago, I told Jessica that she could just pick out the colors for our wedding, since I’m colorblind. I told her this, and then forgot, it seems. She told me not along ago – after our big flower practice day – that the colors she’d chosen were blue and purple.

“Oh,” I said with mock indignation (or was it undignified mockery?), “so you just, like, went ahead and chose the colors without me?”

“But Bret,” she said, “you told me to just choose the colors myself!”

“Hmmph,” I said, “that doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”

“Well, you did, and I chose blue and purple,” she countered. There was a pause, and she asked: “what would you choose, anyway?”

“I don’t know, like… mauve? And… fuchsia?”

Except I said it fyook-shya. “Baby, you don’t even know how to say that color.”

I declared while slamming my fist down: “MAUVE AND FUCHSIA!!!!”

Photo courtesy Drew Beck



9 responses to “Groomzilla Watch 7/7/10

  1. hahaha!

    i don’t get wedding colors- blue and purple won’t survive in the wedding world. it’s gotta be like violet and navy… or lavender and periwinkle.

    i told someone we’re using yellow and gray and they looked at me like i was speaking an ancient language. so i said buttercream, lemon and pewter and they were all, “oooooooohhhhhhh!!! lovely!”

    • ahaha! funny cuz its true! Those colors are way too nondescript and basic! Make up some fancy color names to appease the WIC. Like “delicious blueberry blue” and “royal tinky winky purple” or some other nonsense.

      • I think “royal tinky winky purple” is gonna be hard to beat.

        We could go with “sapphire” for blue, I s’pose. I like periwinkle too.

  2. I don’t have colors, because I am far too spazzy to commit to a system, and I like living on the edge. I also like silly color names. So far, the female bridal party members are in sweet thistle and wisteria and the “tablescapes” are poppy, ivory, vintage aqua, and kraft. Oh, and as of today, the escort cards are accented in plum.

    As someone who is in the “wedding is fast approaching” zone, I am calm, because we have been slaves to our shared to-do list for months now. But I will say that our organization in having all the big things sorted well in advance is allowing me perhaps a little more time than I would like to fuss about details. (See: tablescapes)

    • I wonder what it means that I’ve never heard of the term “tablescape.” Maybe I means I’m not in too deep yet.

      • you’ve obviously never watched Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee. She thinks she’s the master of the Tablescape

  3. Wow. Just wow. We just had the dumbest argument today that sounded very similar (although not about colors). It ended with: “So. We’re both horrible people?” Which just confirms that no one else would want us so we might as well stick together.

    • I think it’s healthier to put a spin on it, like “we both have the same appreciation for how horrible we can be” or something.

      Sometimes I love dumb arguments, if feelings don’t end up hurt.

  4. Now these are the groomzilla moments that I demanded be featured more frequently!

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