The amount of Groomzilla Watch! posts I’ve featured on this blog in no way captures the amount of Groomzilla moments I have in real life, both genuine and otherwise. I am a wedding blogger, after all, somewhat of a rarity amongst the groomal set, which lends me to a certain amount if over-obsession with small wedding details, even as we’re over a year away from The Big Day. I cannot help but wonder how I will be, in real life and on the blog, when the date is fast approaching. I’m guessing: calm, but jittery, with a propensity for jokes and terrible puns. I mean, more of a propensity than usual.
Awhile ago, I told Jessica that she could just pick out the colors for our wedding, since I’m colorblind. I told her this, and then forgot, it seems. She told me not along ago – after our big flower practice day – that the colors she’d chosen were blue and purple.
“Oh,” I said with mock indignation (or was it undignified mockery?), “so you just, like, went ahead and chose the colors without me?”
“But Bret,” she said, “you told me to just choose the colors myself!”
“Hmmph,” I said, “that doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”
“Well, you did, and I chose blue and purple,” she countered. There was a pause, and she asked: “what would you choose, anyway?”
“I don’t know, like… mauve? And… fuchsia?”
Except I said it fyook-shya. “Baby, you don’t even know how to say that color.”
I declared while slamming my fist down: “MAUVE AND FUCHSIA!!!!”
MAUVE AND FUCHSIA!