Monday Bits Of Tid

It’s Monday. You may be aware of this. Garfield the cat famously hates Mondays, for no apparent reason – he’s a cat, and has no job nor earthly responsibilities to speak of besides a self-imposed mandate to be rude and lazy and vicious to his owner and co-pet Odie. What’s the deal with that? Why does he hate Mondays? Or is that the joke? That he’s a cat and has no rational reason for even caring what day of the week it is, let alone latching on to the western custom of despising the day that demarcates the end of freedom and the onset of despair? That’s no joke, my friends. That’s cutting social satire.

You tell 'em, buddy

Anyway, since I have no earth-shattering news about our wedding nor ground-breaking words of wisdom to impart, I thought I’d simply run through some wedding miscellany and minutiae. Misc & Minoosh, as the case may be. That sounds like a fun show about two oddball detectives who solve crimes by poring laboriously through over little odds and ends before finding boring but incriminating evidence. They earned their nicknames by being the best of the best in the field of forensic miscellany. Actually… that doesn’t sound fun at all.

Firstly, I was curious about the word tidbit. It turns out that “titbit” is an acceptable alternative, though I can’t say I’m in any danger of using it. The word may have come about in the 1600s from “titmouse” + “bit,” hence bits of food eaten by a titmouse. How about that.

Hey: try saying “titmouse” without giggling or at least smiling. It’s not juvenile – it’s human nature. Like people falling on their butts. I hope I’m never too old to be amused by that. Unless they break something, then it’s not funny. That’s just mean.

Secondly, I now have a Twitter account, conveniently named @AllThingsZilla. I’m not so sure about Twitter. OK, that’s not true – I am sure I think Twitter is a great medium for a great many purposes. What I am unsure about is my ability/desire to update it with any regularity, not to mention make it interesting. I’ll try to put jokes up there and other little bits of wedding tid. Check it out! Twitter for all!

Thirdly, as I mentioned previously, I’d like to make bread for my wedding. Or at least, look into the possibility. It sounds a little bit like a logistical nightmare*, mainly since homemade bread really needs to be eaten the day it’s baked to achieve maximum deliciousness. And making enough bread to feed 150 greedy, selfish people on the day of my wedding doesn’t really seem feasible.

*[I know it’s hip to say “band name!” when a phrase comes up that sounds like a band name, but I still can’t resist it sometimes. And ‘Logistical Nightmare’ is a pretty good name for a metal band.]

BUT – and I can’t really figure out how I didn’t think of this before – what if I made the dough a week or so prior to the wedding, then FROZE the dough, and then had a friend thaw it and bake it the day of the wedding? WHAT IF THAT??? I will tell you: that sounds like a serious plan. I can even think of a friend already who might be just the guy for that, and his name is Isaac. He is an expert breadmaker, and in fact I just spent Saturday night at his housewarming party noshing on his fantastic homemade pizza.

via breadcetera.com

Of the questions that remain, one of them is: what kind of bread? My favorite bread to make is from the Joy of Cooking and it’s called Buttermilk Potato Bread. It’s dense, moist, hearty, and fantastic. It can be made as cloverleaf rolls, which might be just the ticket for the wedding. Two rolls apiece, so 300 total – I think a single recipe made about 36, so 8 or 9 recipes. Yipes! But really, making a lot of dough isn’t a huge deal on its own.

The worry, of course, is that as all these DIY things start to add up, it might get pretty insane. Bread, pulled pork, flowers, linens and dishware… oh my! Not to mention other stuff we haven’t though of yet. Luckily, we have a lot of time to plan, and I’m fully open to taking several days off work (which I’d want to do anyway) and just bust my ass doing this stuff. We may just end up buying baguettes from the Cheeseboard, and I don’t think anyone would complain about that.

Fourthly, I wanted to share this cool thing that my excellent friend Genevieve emailed me. It’s a short NPR story about a Washington couple that raised the $3,800 they needed for their wedding by collecting 400,000 recyclable cans. First I want to know how they’re doing a wedding for $3,800, and second I want to know where they kept almost half a million cans. And third, I want to know how they got so cool. Because that’s a great idea. Anyone have any creative ways Jessica and I can raise $10K? Spill it!

Fifthly, and finally, I wanted to say thank you. For reading. I owe you a debt of gratitude that cannot be paid, and I love you. Every one.

Good day and good cheer,

Bret

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7 responses to “Monday Bits Of Tid

  1. I assume the blog will have bought in about 10K by wedding time. PAGEVIEWS!

    Also, I’m glad you didn’t name me as the friend who would bake the bread.

  2. Hrm, my wedding cake experience might help you decide…so I love to bake and ALWAYS wanted to make my own cake. I experimented with freezing the cake and it just didn’t work with the flavor I wanted (lemon-blackberry). So I baked the cake Thursday, was going to ice and assemble it on Friday, get married on Saturday. Problem was that our bachlor/bachlorette party was Thursday night and Friday was surprise intensive tax paperwork morning while incredibly hungover. I ended up assembling my cake the morning of the wedding with some crying b/c I messed up icing I’d practiced a million times, knowing that if it sucked 100+ people would know. When we all got to the reception, I ended up re-icing my cake in my wedding dress with a butter knife. On the other hand, it was the most delicious cake ever and everyone LOVED it. I’m still not sure if I’d make that choice again.

    • That sounds like one of those experiences that makes for a great story – I love the image of you re-icing the cake in your dress – but maybe wasn’t all that fun to live through.

      Luckily, we have someone to make the cake! But I wonder what disasters await me if I try to make the bread…

  3. A woman I work with, the one who hates me for being two years younger and further away from thirty than she is, keeps calling the damn thing a mousetit. I think she does it for attention. Moron…

    And I love the bread idea. What about Irish soda bread? That doesn’t need to be eaten the day of. You can let that bad boy sit in the sun for a few weeks, stick it in a bucket of water for an hour and it still tastes the same. Probably not as appetizing as those little potato bread balls in the picture. I love bread. I guess you could call me a Bread Head. Did you get that? Do you watch Tim and Eric Awesome Show?

  4. shout out!

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