It’s Monday. You may be aware of this. Garfield the cat famously hates Mondays, for no apparent reason – he’s a cat, and has no job nor earthly responsibilities to speak of besides a self-imposed mandate to be rude and lazy and vicious to his owner and co-pet Odie. What’s the deal with that? Why does he hate Mondays? Or is that the joke? That he’s a cat and has no rational reason for even caring what day of the week it is, let alone latching on to the western custom of despising the day that demarcates the end of freedom and the onset of despair? That’s no joke, my friends. That’s cutting social satire.
Anyway, since I have no earth-shattering news about our wedding nor ground-breaking words of wisdom to impart, I thought I’d simply run through some wedding miscellany and minutiae. Misc & Minoosh, as the case may be. That sounds like a fun show about two oddball detectives who solve crimes by poring laboriously through over little odds and ends before finding boring but incriminating evidence. They earned their nicknames by being the best of the best in the field of forensic miscellany. Actually… that doesn’t sound fun at all.
Firstly, I was curious about the word tidbit. It turns out that “titbit” is an acceptable alternative, though I can’t say I’m in any danger of using it. The word may have come about in the 1600s from “titmouse” + “bit,” hence bits of food eaten by a titmouse. How about that.
Hey: try saying “titmouse” without giggling or at least smiling. It’s not juvenile – it’s human nature. Like people falling on their butts. I hope I’m never too old to be amused by that. Unless they break something, then it’s not funny. That’s just mean.
Secondly, I now have a Twitter account, conveniently named @AllThingsZilla. I’m not so sure about Twitter. OK, that’s not true – I am sure I think Twitter is a great medium for a great many purposes. What I am unsure about is my ability/desire to update it with any regularity, not to mention make it interesting. I’ll try to put jokes up there and other little bits of wedding tid. Check it out! Twitter for all!
Thirdly, as I mentioned previously, I’d like to make bread for my wedding. Or at least, look into the possibility. It sounds a little bit like a logistical nightmare*, mainly since homemade bread really needs to be eaten the day it’s baked to achieve maximum deliciousness. And making enough bread to feed 150 greedy, selfish people on the day of my wedding doesn’t really seem feasible.
*[I know it’s hip to say “band name!” when a phrase comes up that sounds like a band name, but I still can’t resist it sometimes. And ‘Logistical Nightmare’ is a pretty good name for a metal band.]
BUT – and I can’t really figure out how I didn’t think of this before – what if I made the dough a week or so prior to the wedding, then FROZE the dough, and then had a friend thaw it and bake it the day of the wedding? WHAT IF THAT??? I will tell you: that sounds like a serious plan. I can even think of a friend already who might be just the guy for that, and his name is Isaac. He is an expert breadmaker, and in fact I just spent Saturday night at his housewarming party noshing on his fantastic homemade pizza.
Of the questions that remain, one of them is: what kind of bread? My favorite bread to make is from the Joy of Cooking and it’s called Buttermilk Potato Bread. It’s dense, moist, hearty, and fantastic. It can be made as cloverleaf rolls, which might be just the ticket for the wedding. Two rolls apiece, so 300 total – I think a single recipe made about 36, so 8 or 9 recipes. Yipes! But really, making a lot of dough isn’t a huge deal on its own.
The worry, of course, is that as all these DIY things start to add up, it might get pretty insane. Bread, pulled pork, flowers, linens and dishware… oh my! Not to mention other stuff we haven’t though of yet. Luckily, we have a lot of time to plan, and I’m fully open to taking several days off work (which I’d want to do anyway) and just bust my ass doing this stuff. We may just end up buying baguettes from the Cheeseboard, and I don’t think anyone would complain about that.
Fourthly, I wanted to share this cool thing that my excellent friend Genevieve emailed me. It’s a short NPR story about a Washington couple that raised the $3,800 they needed for their wedding by collecting 400,000 recyclable cans. First I want to know how they’re doing a wedding for $3,800, and second I want to know where they kept almost half a million cans. And third, I want to know how they got so cool. Because that’s a great idea. Anyone have any creative ways Jessica and I can raise $10K? Spill it!
Fifthly, and finally, I wanted to say thank you. For reading. I owe you a debt of gratitude that cannot be paid, and I love you. Every one.
Good day and good cheer,