There’s an old Halloween episode of the Simpsons where Homer buys a monkey’s paw from an old, mystical, potentially evil guy at a fair. The guy, in addition to selling odd items, also sells frozen yogurt, which he calls “Frogurt.”
In college, in the dining hall, there was a frozen yogurt machine, and everyone called it “froyo.” Every time I heard that I would politely correct whoever said it by saying, “oh, it’s actually Frogurt.” But no one seemed to agree with me, even when I referenced the Simpsons episode. I felt, and still feel, that frogurt is just simply better wordplay than froyo, which is perhaps because I am prone to portmanteaus.*
*[A portmanteau, also called a blend, is the joining of two words and thereby combining their meanings, like motel or spam.]
In any case, I bring this up because, as I make my way through life, I like to give new names to things and feelings and situations as they arise. This may help explain my glossary page on this site, populated by ridiculous expressions and terms that have come about because of my incessant need to make puns out of everything. My best man and best friend Drew knows all about this – in the past few years, our every interaction does not go longer than a few minutes without one of us making a pun about something, generally in the form of a portmanteau or a spoonerism. As I’ve mentioned perhaps too many times, we are crafting a blog of jokes that will go live at some point in the near future.
And so, as I get more and more serious about the possibility of making pulled pork for my own wedding, one of the first things that comes to mind – before questions of quantity, quality, price, logistics, and so on – is what am I gonna call it?
And in the end, it seems the only logical thing to call it is fropupo. In case it’s not painfully obvious, it comes from frozen pulled pork, and I find it sounds best when rolling the r and making it sound quasi-Italian, perhaps accompanied by a hand gesture. Try it out at home! Just don’t say it three times in front of a mirror – God help your soul if you do that.
Of course, it won’t be frozen when it’s served, but making that much pupo (see, it works without the fro) will almost certainly involve some freezing. It might be pointed out that were I to go for painful accuracy, I might be tempted to label it frotharepopu, from frozen thawed reheated pulled pork; but punnery is not an exact science, and sometimes we must forego accuracy in favor of linguistic ease and aesthetic beauty, both of which fropupo possesses and frotharepu does not.
In any case, I’ve started doing some research on the feasibility of making fropupo for 150 people, and my initial reactions are: I’m hopeful. Cautiously optimistic. Guardedly excited. Reports on this research will be forthcoming over the next few weeks and months.
Have a great weekend.