Hammer & (Pop)sicle

Hey, have you entered my Giveaway yet??? Hmmmm??? No? Well, you have precious few days left to do so! What’s the prize? Oh, only a song written by me all about YOU, that’s all. You know, your typical, run-of-the-mill prize. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment – any comment! – in the comments section. I’ll randomly select one person and will then write a chart-topping single all about that person. Will it be rock ‘n’ roll? Folk? Gospel? Noise? House? Dancehall? Death Metal? Folkspel? Death Noise? Who knows?

Yesterday, I posted a bunch of bad wedding jokes I’d made up. Loyal Reader Angie, she of a lovely Baltimore-based wedding blog called One Cat Per Person, suggested that I put the jokes on Popsicle sticks and give them out as favors. And I was all like OMG WTF LOL! No but seriously, I was really excited and told all my friends about it. Well, many of my friends. OK, just the two guys who came over to workshop all of our jokes.* They loved the idea, as any rational person would, and I even told Drew that I was sure there were a ton of places online that would that for you.  I haven’t even talked about it with Jessica but knowing her as I do, I think it’s unlikely she wouldn’t at least want to explore the subject. And it’s most likely that she’ll get wide-eyed and clappy and jump up and down a little.

*We read back through all our jokes, made some alterations, yukked it up, and realized we have somewhere around 180 jokes, maybe close to 200. We laid the groundwork for a blog called The Jokemakers, which will be forthcoming fairly soon. So, you know, get ready, Internet.

And so, I turned to my good friend Google and started a-searchin’. Most of the early results are actually for lollipops, which might be a slightly better idea given that popsicles have this insane tendency to melt (the bastards), and we are getting married in July, after all. But then again, what says summer better than a delicious popsicle dripping down your best duds? I’ll tell you what: homemade popsicles, with custom-made joke-bearing sticks, dripping down your best duds.

One result offered lollies with a custom logo on them, a company called Branders that promises you 36 free mugs if you happen to find a lower price than them, which is great because I’ve always wanted 36 mugs. I’m not sure how customizable the lollipop logos are, but I put in a request, so we’ll see. I have a sneaking suspicion the logos won’t be big enough to fit a joke.

Another company called Sugarcraft offers customizable “lollipop tags,” which is nice but I don’t see any reason for us not to just make them ourselves and buy the lollies separately. Or perhaps even MAKE the lollies ourselves! There are a ton of online recipes for how to make your own lollipops online, and as far as homemade favors go, they have the huge benefit of being able to be made well in advance. I’ve talked about wanting to make bread before, which sounds like such a great idea but does present some serious logistical challenges. Candy-making is something I haven’t tried yet, but it might actually be a perfect thing to try out over the next few months to see if we’re good enough at it to offer some up as favors.

But back to popsicles: to my dismay, despite the fact that Google auto-completed “custom popsicle sticks” and “custom printed popsicle sticks” for me, I pretty much found… nothing. My first reaction was “whaaaa?” and my second reaction was “Goddammit” and my third reaction was “well, shit, if we really want this then we can figure out how do it ourselves.”

So I dunno – if anyone out there is a better Googler than I, please let me know where you found custom-printed popsicle sticks. Because ever since it was suggested I can think of little else.


14 responses to “Hammer & (Pop)sicle

  1. You could do custom fortune cookies. This site even has wedding fortune cookies (expensive though):

    This place seems pretty reasonable though ($40 for 300 cookies, up to 17 jokes!). I have no idea what a reasonable price for a fortune cookie is though.

  2. Does it reflect poorly on my intelligence that when you suggested handing out custom popsicle sticks as favors, I did not imagine the popsicles on the sticks? So you’re point about melting popsicles was well taken…I thought “oh yeah, some people probably think that joke-laden popsicle sticks are not a stellar favor in and of themselves…” Those crazy people.

  3. I am in the process of researching this for you. Seriously. Like a mad woman on crack. I will find resources. Swear.

    Thanks for the mention! w00t!

    • I looked up edible inks to print- thinking you could somehow transfer the image to popsicle sticks, but the printer needed to do that would cost hundreds. So I went into a forum and found this:


      It’s a non-toxic pen that can be used on most surfaces. I think handwriting jokes with a non-toxic, permanent ink would be your best bet. A non-toxic sharpie could also be used, but you’d need a steady hands and buckets o’ patience.

      I’m gonna reach out to some of my crafty friends.

  4. Dude, I think the only place you can get custom hot stamped popsicle sticks is going to be from China:


    Their minimum order is 5 cubic feet, which if I understand correctly is like 10,000 popsicle sticks, LOL!

  5. I am so happy I found this blog! I decided months ago that I too was going to hand out customized popsicle sticks as favors at my wedding! Great minds think alike! I have been scouring the internet for custom popsicle stick makers for about the last 6 months, and have had very limited success (except for the Chinese hot stamp companies where the min order is like 1million sticks). Last week, one of my fabulous bridesmaids found a laser engraver on Etsy that can customize popsicle sticks! I just need jokes now!

    • So I came up with the idea of custom printed popsicle sticks for wedding favors for a friend and now here I am in the hunt. Seems like the same spot you are and Amber is. Any chance you have the info for the laser engraver on Etsy?

  6. I am also interested in the Etsy person who will laser engrave popsicle sticks.

    I’m surprised that this ISN’T being done by some big company (but in lots smaller than a million sticks…)

  7. I have also been researching custom printing on popsicle sticks. For a popsicle-shaped wedding program, we need a popsicle stick printed with the couple’s name and wedding date. I am going to attempt using waterslide temporary tattoo paper! If my plan is successful, I will post again to let you know! At first, I thought of using t-shirt transfers, but that would leave a white background behind the logo. Any other ideas for DIY custom-printed popsicle sticks?

  8. Look no further than FunDepressors (www.fundepressors.com) for custom printed popsicle sticks (and tongue depressors, too!). We’ve been supplying the pediatric medical community with our flagship printed tongue depressor product, FunDepressors, for nearly 10 years. Our custom printing is done right here in the USA and our products are perfectly safe for oral usage and contact with food and beverages. We can print on one or both sides with one or multiple colors — even four color process printing! Our print quality is very sharp and we can accommodate small print runs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s