Hey, have you entered my Giveaway yet??? Hmmmm??? No? Well, you have precious few days left to do so! What’s the prize? Oh, only a song written by me all about YOU, that’s all. You know, your typical, run-of-the-mill prize. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment – any comment! – in the comments section. I’ll randomly select one person and will then write a chart-topping single all about that person. Will it be rock ‘n’ roll? Folk? Gospel? Noise? House? Dancehall? Death Metal? Folkspel? Death Noise? Who knows?
Yesterday, I posted a bunch of bad wedding jokes I’d made up. Loyal Reader Angie, she of a lovely Baltimore-based wedding blog called One Cat Per Person, suggested that I put the jokes on Popsicle sticks and give them out as favors. And I was all like OMG WTF LOL! No but seriously, I was really excited and told all my friends about it. Well, many of my friends. OK, just the two guys who came over to workshop all of our jokes.* They loved the idea, as any rational person would, and I even told Drew that I was sure there were a ton of places online that would that for you. I haven’t even talked about it with Jessica but knowing her as I do, I think it’s unlikely she wouldn’t at least want to explore the subject. And it’s most likely that she’ll get wide-eyed and clappy and jump up and down a little.
*We read back through all our jokes, made some alterations, yukked it up, and realized we have somewhere around 180 jokes, maybe close to 200. We laid the groundwork for a blog called The Jokemakers, which will be forthcoming fairly soon. So, you know, get ready, Internet.
And so, I turned to my good friend Google and started a-searchin’. Most of the early results are actually for lollipops, which might be a slightly better idea given that popsicles have this insane tendency to melt (the bastards), and we are getting married in July, after all. But then again, what says summer better than a delicious popsicle dripping down your best duds? I’ll tell you what: homemade popsicles, with custom-made joke-bearing sticks, dripping down your best duds.
One result offered lollies with a custom logo on them, a company called Branders that promises you 36 free mugs if you happen to find a lower price than them, which is great because I’ve always wanted 36 mugs. I’m not sure how customizable the lollipop logos are, but I put in a request, so we’ll see. I have a sneaking suspicion the logos won’t be big enough to fit a joke.
Another company called Sugarcraft offers customizable “lollipop tags,” which is nice but I don’t see any reason for us not to just make them ourselves and buy the lollies separately. Or perhaps even MAKE the lollies ourselves! There are a ton of online recipes for how to make your own lollipops online, and as far as homemade favors go, they have the huge benefit of being able to be made well in advance. I’ve talked about wanting to make bread before, which sounds like such a great idea but does present some serious logistical challenges. Candy-making is something I haven’t tried yet, but it might actually be a perfect thing to try out over the next few months to see if we’re good enough at it to offer some up as favors.
But back to popsicles: to my dismay, despite the fact that Google auto-completed “custom popsicle sticks” and “custom printed popsicle sticks” for me, I pretty much found… nothing. My first reaction was “whaaaa?” and my second reaction was “Goddammit” and my third reaction was “well, shit, if we really want this then we can figure out how do it ourselves.”
So I dunno – if anyone out there is a better Googler than I, please let me know where you found custom-printed popsicle sticks. Because ever since it was suggested I can think of little else.