I like to make up jokes. So does my best man, Drew. In fact, we have an extremely long gmail thread of back-and-forth jokes that got so long and unruly I had to start a second one; our friend Kale joined us a little later. Some of them are bad; some of them are good-bad; many are pretty funny; a bunch are awful and a few are great. At some point we’re going to put together a blog for all these jokes, and the world will have a little more laughter. Then perhaps a book. Next, a movie deal, a TV show, a graphic novel series, a ride at Great America, and an Off-Broadway play starring Jake Gyllenhaal as me, Gael Garcia Bernal as Drew, and Andy Samberg as Kale.
Anyway, as my attention these days has shifted a bit towards weddings, I’ve been more apt to try to concoct wedding jokes. Warning for the faint of heart: These are truly bad jokes.
Why did the convict drop his gun at the wedding?
Because he heard the minister say “speak now or forever hold your piece,” and no one said anything.
Why did Mr. Philbin only want a sapling for a wedding gift?
He was just filling out a Regis-tree.
Where did the female horse get hitched?
On the mare-ridge.
One-liner from a wedding cynic: Walk down the aisle? More like, walk down the I won’t!